To My Cyber Friends/Brothers

I have two friends I met over the Internet. One from the US and the other from Africa. I was really happy upon meeting them but later on my heart have been so bothered with these two guys' situation. This one that is from Africa, caught much of my attention because we have something in common. We are both lovers of Christ. He is a Christian. He is a brother who is in thirst for the spiritual truth. It surprised me upon knowing that he is fondly reading one of our leading brother's books. And that it inspired and enlightened him so much. Sad thing is, he is living in a communist - like country. They dont have the freedom to do church meetings nor form any religious groups. They can't even go out of their country for whatever reason. And that grieved him so much. I can feel how much he loves the Lord and how he longs to freely worship him and fellowship with other saints. Every time we chat, we talk about nothing but his desperation on being free to openly praise the Lord. And that moved me so much. It made me realize how blessed I am to be in a totally democratic country and yet I dont give much importance to the meetings at times, and one brother in a far away land is dying for it. He even told me that he'd escape from their country no matter what it takes. How I pray I could have a heart for His Body like that of my brother.
I met my American friend through a Christian penpal website. I was amazed by Him knowing that He is a Christian too. But one thing just 'annoyed' me in some ways though, he seemed just like still imprisoned by the shaddow of his sad past relationship with a Filipina. He was fooled by the girl. He had sent a lot of gifts to her and everything was even set for their planned wedding. Wedding gowns and rings were all sent all the way from the US to the Philippines. But just as the wedding day was nearing, the girl backed out. She stopped communicating with my friend and not even a word was heard from that girl since then. There was not an instance that my friend have not mentioned these things whenever we chat although it had been almost 2 years since that happened. I would say that he really have not been able to get over it though he disagrees with that. Add to his sad love story his frustration of getting a job and as a result he had developed a sleeping disorder.
I really feel sorry for these friends of mine. Its always a challenge to me how to cheer them up everytime we chat. Sometimes I choose to appear invisible to them because I feel like all my 'words of wisdom' that could give them courage are all used up, and they might have even memorize my favorite verse by now. I fervently pray though that these brothers would be able to find true happiness which is in God's arms alone and be able to still praise the Lord for all His arrangements. To my brother in Africa - keep your spirit burning, brother, the Lord knows your heart. And to my friend in the US, move on with Him and trust His ways.

Little Freedom

I'm a bit of a loner type of person. It's perfectly fine with me to go to the mall, sit in a station with not a friend around, or do some other stuffs alone that others find it difficult to do. I have been living alone for almost two years now since my housemate and sister in Christ got married. I feel comfortable and so free being alone. Having nobody that I need to consider in every thing I do, lets me do all that I want. I may cook food or not, clean the house or not, wash the dishes, wash my clothes at my convenient time. I can walk around naked in case I forgot something while about to take a bath. I can welcome visitors anytime. I can leave the house all messed up without worrying that the housemate might get pissed off. I can be me, in short. That little sense of freedom makes me happy.
Last January, my mom's ex-officemate stayed with me for weeks while hunting for a job. Later that month, my mom came to supposedly live with me. Because she's here, my sister who is in a traning center right now, have been going home most often for us three to be together. It was a sweet memory. Though I could not accept visitors that time, could not walk around naked, could not use the computer all the time to give way to my sister, got forced by my mom to eat though I dont feel like eating, it all went fine.
Later then, I have been thinking much and waiting for the time that I'd be all alone in this house again. I miss the what I called 'liitle freedom'. And so that time came. My mom went home to Pagadian to get back to work. Two days after, my sister went back to the training center. And about a week after, my mom's officemate took all her stuffs here for she already got a job a little far from here. At first, I felt fine. But as days went by I find myself so lonely and feel like crying being alone in the house. I dont really text my mom that much but I was already texting her by and by telling her how lonely I am and missing them so much. Playing 'meet me' on tagged.com, watching tv or listening to music could not take away the loneliness I felt. I suddenly thought of bed spacing. I just felt like I could not live alone anymore. I thanked God that I spend most of the time in a day in the office with my closest friends/'family'. I just come home to spend the night. On our rest days, we also stayed at Mimi's place. That way, the time that I am alone is lessen. I do not have time to wash clothes and clean the house though, so I spent these two rest days working on it, hu!
Now I'm confused. Should I stay here all alone or go get a bed space? What about my 'little freedom'? For sure I still want to be that free but I feel lonely now. I dont know. Maybe I should get married now, ha ha. I'll just pray and see what's God's arrangement for this.

My Amazing Computer

I have long been waiting to write and post this second blog. What caused the delay? My amazing computer. It does not cooperate with me. It freezes on me every now and then. Even as it is just booting up yet. Sometimes it would just let me get online for maybe a minute or two then it freezes. Terrible! It causes me to lose my temper at times and feels like I want to throw it away. But of course I can’t afford to do that. This serves as a remembrance from the first company I have worked with here in Manila that believed in me and have been kind in hiring me as a technical support representative though I know nothing about technical stuff. I won this computer from the company’s Christmas raffle last 2007. I’ve used it for a year just for storing and playing files of songs I’ve downloaded, and occasionally watching movies. It’s sickness was bearable then, for it was not freezing as often as it does now. I have few friends checked on it already, each of them has different findings that made the problem just seems unfigurable. Now that I am using it most and had Internet connection installed I could no longer tolerate the dilemma. It just fires up my temper especially when I am doing something important on the net and I would have to start all over again when it would finally, after several attempts, starts and loads back up. So I have decided. Tomorrow, I’m gonna buy a new CPU, just that though due to financial constraints. And hopefully, this will be the end of my agony on this computer. Well, goodluck to me. I thank it though for being so nice for just freezing once as I wrote this.

The Alpha

This article will mark the beginning. The beginning of a new avenue in my life. A new outlet of my soul. I am Melany, an ordinary country girl who once lived a lonely and boring, routinary lifestyle. I am loner, a bit sensitive, introvert person. I used to keep things to myself and sleep all my feelings away, be it good or bad. Thanks to my angelic sister, Mimi. She was used by the Lord to open a new world for me. She introduced me to the world of bloggers, which could be my alternative outlet, and where we could get some ‘anda’, he he. ‘I love u, Mimi’. I owe this to you, next to Him.
I congratulate myself for being able to start writing at last. I thank the Lord for giving me an idea what to write, though it’s some kinda shallow, but for me, this is already an achievement. I long have been thinking of how to start blogging and what to start with. After weeks and months of struggle, I finally have started it. Special thanks also to Mimi who keeps on checking on me and encouraging me, and of course the supporting actresses; Pearl and Mamu for the warm company and for the colors they painted on my lonely world. Hmmm.. doesn’t this article sound like an Acknowledgment part of a book already?, whatever… as long as I wrote something.
I hope I’d be able to write wonderful articles in the future. ‘Did I use the right term?’ Well, something that would free me from deprivation from self expression and could also touch somebody else’s life. So help me God… I hope you’ll be with me and enjoy reading what I will be posting here. I welcome comments and suggestions. Let me learn from you. Thanks for the time.. Emmanuel..